Fact Set#1: Parking Lot Crash
Late this afternoon a construction truck crashed into a vehicle in San Mateo, killing one person at the scene and three others injured. According to San Mateo Police Captain Kevin Nguyen, "the container truck apparently had one type of mechanical failure." While the truck was coming down 43rd Avenue, a residential street that is a dead-end in Mollie Stone's grocery store parking lot.
The truck barreled down the hill and into the crowded parking lot hitting a black sport-utility vehicle broadside and eight or nine other vehicles were also hit. The impact dragged the SUV about 75 feet into the parking lot leaving a mess of crushed vehicles and broken glass.
On occupant of one of the vehicles that was hit, was declared dead at the scene. A pedestrian was also hit and injured. One of the three injured people was taken to Standford Hospital by helicopter where the other two were taken by ambulance.
Fact Set#2: Devil's Slide Crash
Early this morning a San Francisco motorist drove off a 150-foot cliff at Highway 1 at Devil's Slide. The 24-year-old man was driving his Mazda Sedan in dense fog, heading north toward San Francisco, when he missed a turn and drove over the slide of the cliff.
The man was wearing his seat belt when the car landed on its wheels and able to use his cell phone to call 911. The highway had to be closed for two hours in both direction and the California Highway Patrol and Cal Fire had trouble locating the man because of the fog.
After forty-five minutes they were able to reach him rappelling off the cliff. They were able to pull him up in a protective cage and he was taken to San Francisco General Hospital for observation. According to CHP Sgt Trent Ross his only visible injury was a bump on his head, "he did what he was suppose to do; he wore his seat belt." He also added that if the driver hadn't been wearing his seat belt during the accident, "there is no doubt it would have been fatal."
Saturday, February 20, 2010
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Start your leads with "what" happened, not "when" or "where" it happened.
ReplyDelete1) Ask yourself what makes this story newsworthy -- it's that someone was killed, not that there was a truck crash. So start your lead with that. And keep it short. Your lead should be one sentence, not two or three.
You have a typo in the quote. Your third sentence is a sentence fragment.
2) Again, ask yourself what makes this story newsworthy -- in this case, it's that a guy drove off a 150-foot cliff ...and survived! That needs to be in your lead.
* 45 minutes
* review quote format; your first quote is formatted incorrectly and it includes a typo.
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