Saturday, February 6, 2010

Lead#2: Air Crash

US Air crashed yesterday killing 131 people on board as aircraft was preparing to land from Chicago to outside Pittsburgh. The plane, nose dived into the ground making this the worst air disaster in the United States for the past three years.
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2010 at 11:33 AM

    You've put the most important information (what happened) first: Good! But you could make this lead even stronger by starting with the number of people killed. That's what really makes this news.

    Also, you keep omitting articles of speech like "a" and "the" from your sentences. Don't do that. It makes your sentences harder to read. Also, that's what makes them sound like headlines, not proper sentences.

    No comma needed after "the plane."

    8.5/10

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