Ever thought you had a bad Monday morning in New York? Just talk to the electrocuted squirrel who made a huge tie up affecting 47,000 railroad commuters.
According to Metro North spokeswoman Donna Evans, the squirrel was playing around on the power lines. The power was lost and the trains were not leaving out of Manhattan.
Because of the electrical power surge it weakened an overhead bracket. Then the overhead bracket dangled down and was able to strangle a passing train underneath that ended up tearing down the lines. Luckily service was able to be restored by crews by Tuesday morning.
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The squirrel angle in your lead is good, but you have a basic logic problem: you can't talk to a dead (electrocuted) squirrel. Please rework.
ReplyDeleteP2: Put the attribution at the end of the sentence. Put the focus on the power outage and impact on commuters, since that's what makes this story newsworthy.
* Be clear: did it affect all Manhattan commuters, or just some of them?
* Brackets can't "strangle" trains
* Delete "luckily" - avoid opinion in news stories
11.5/15